Making a comeback is one of the most difficult things to do with dignity.
– Greg Lake
If I told you about all of the times in my life that I have had to make a comeback, you probably wouldn’t believe me. Along with Sundown United’s comeback, I am once again in the midst of my own.
Almost a decade ago I went through a messy divorce that I never thought I would make it back from. Slowly but surely I recovered from that.
For the next few years, I went through a rocky time financially and due to being unemployed or under-employed. I never thought I would see the light of day. But I came back from that too.
I went through failed relationships and heartbreaks of various sorts. For years my life was one storm after another. I did my best to keep a happy face on things. I tried my hardest to always give my kids what they needed and make our home a warm and comfortable place for them. But deep down I was always anxious and nervous and on the edge of a breakdown.
I always had working out and Jiu Jitsu as a stress reliever. Then four and half years ago, the bottom fell out. I tore my ACL, so even that little bit of happiness was taken from me.
It took a few months but I came back from that as well. It was also at this time in my life that things started coming together for me. I met the man who would become my husband. This man loved me through my knee recovery and helped my kids by becoming a loving father figure to them.
For the last few years, things have been really good for me. I got married in January to the love of my life. I got to add 2 more sons to my life to love. We had a fabulous wedding that will live in infamy as one of the best parties EVER. I have a wonderful group of friends that are more like family than friends. I have a beautiful home and a job that provides well for me and a man that provides well for me and likes to spoil me rotten.
There have been a few bumps along the way, back in August of last year I was told I needed to have a hysterectomy because my body was treating all of the testosterone it was producing like it was waste. I spent a lot of time learning about hormones and my body and how it works. I learned about different herbs I could take to help my body process testosterone properly, but the hysterectomy was still a necessary step. I was devastated. It was an emotional blow to me. I felt like less of a woman because I was going to be losing a part of myself. I knew it was the best choice for me so I did it and I had to take 6 weeks off from the gym and for a couple of months I didn’t feel like myself at all. Once again, I was upset because I didn’t want to lose the outlet that I have in my working out and lose any ground that I had gained. However, I did come back from that and because when I did, I actually had usable testosterone in my body, I came back stronger and better than before.
I started really getting places when it came to my workouts and my Jiu Jitsu world. I am heavily involved with Crossfit and I truly love it. Also, I was really starting to win A LOT on the Jiu Jitsu mats. It was always my goal in life that even if I didn’t win, people would remember my name and I was actually accomplishing that goal.
Then a little less than a month ago, I was in a Jiu Jitsu tournament and something so random and bizarre happened to me I could hardly believe it. I stepped to the right and my left leg didn’t follow. My knee cap popped off and was sitting on the side of my leg. I fell to the ground screaming in agony.
As I was lying on the ground trying to push my knee cap back into place, my main thought was, “No God! Haven’t I gone through enough? Can’t I make it through one year without making my insurance deductible?” Sure enough after an MRI and many doctors’ visits I have to have my knee operated on. June 15 I’ll be going under the knife again. I can say that I have shed my fair share of tears over this. I don’t want to do this again. It will be a few months before I’m able to work out again. It will be a few months before I can walk normally or go anywhere without a brace on my leg. I don’t want to go through all of the pain again and the rehab. I truly don’t know if I have another comeback left in me, but I do know that I will do my best to keep fighting my way back to “normal” whatever that means.
One of my favorite quotes is from Rocky. I know that might seem cliché, but it seems to fit my particular situation:
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard ya hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!”
― Sylvester Stallone, Rocky Balboa
So in the true fighting spirit, I will come back again. I will work hard to be better in my forties than I was in my 30’s. I will learn to enjoy the good times in my life and rest in the fact that I have come so far and won so many battles, soon I will be bulletproof.
Also, I would like to say, I am grateful to all of my readers for listening to me whine and always having my back all these years. You have encouraged me so much with your words of wisdom and love.
That which doesn’t kill me had better start running.
Peace and Love,