The Monthly Lead is a collection of Stories, Articles, Polls, & Interviews from our Sundown United Senior Staff. The Lead, from across America to Korea, spotlights community in all its different shapes and beautiful varieties in a monthly theme that is discussed, debated, and decided amongst our fans and SDU staff. A Lead to inspiration. Welcome to August Theme – ENDURANCE
By Chace Acosta – Lead Contributor // Dallas
… Let us run with endurance the race that is set before us.
Endurance is one of those character traits that no one is born with. It’s earned. And in order to earn it you must go through trials and hardships.
Sounds fun right?
It’s one of those wonderful traits that everyone wants until it comes down to doing the work to get it. Giving up is much easier.
Endurance can be a physical attribute or an emotional one.
Most people can find pictures of athletes or models whose bodies they admire, they use these as goals to strive for. I have those too. But I also have people I am friends with, people that I work out with, who are stronger than me that I am striving to get to their level I have people who I practice Jiu Jitsu with that I wish I could train as much as they do or learn the way they do. I work towards those goals every day. I like the competition of it. But I also like the results when my clothes fit better and I feel good in my own skin and the sense of accomplishment that I have when I reach those goals. I have built up a tolerance to the pain, but even with all the practice of endurance, I fail. A lot.
You see, most people can look at the pictures of the model or the body builder and see it as something that they want, but when the opportunity arises to eat a salad or a burger, they choose the burger. When the choice needs to be made as to whether they should go to the gym or go to the bar, they choose the bar. More than that, going to the gym and actually doing the heavy weights and the cardio and the crazy exercises that most people are not willing to do, is the only way to get yourself to look like the people in the pictures you are cutting out.
Choosing to practice endurance is the hardest part. Choosing it over and over again, that’s nearly impossible for most people.
While physical endurance is difficult, emotional endurance can be even harder. Emotional endurance takes a toll on everything in your life.
Most people have a measure of emotional endurance. Getting through school requires endurance. Working at most jobs requires endurance. Relationships take endurance. However, when those things start to go bad, when you are struggling in school, or your job is not ideal or your relationships are rocky, you have to practice even more endurance and just like working out your muscles makes your physical endurance grow, working through your emotional issues makes your emotional endurance grow.
For me, it’s the health issues that plague me that are currently exercising my emotional endurance.
4 and ½ years ago, I had my right ACL replaced, last August I had a hysterectomy and then in May I completely blew out my left knee in the most random of ways and had to have surgery in June to repair it. Since then I have been on a downward spiral emotionally, My emotional endurance is spent. Every day I am not sure I will be able to make it through the pain, the feelings of uselessness and the feeling of grief that I am experiencing from not being myself. I am grieving the loss of my life. In my head I know this is a temporary setback, I am only 37 years old, I can get back to the level of activity that I was once performing at, but the amount of pain and work that I have to endure to get there is overwhelming. It’s like being at the bottom of a mountain of glass and knowing you have to walk up in barefoot. You don’t have any other way around it. The depression is real. There are so many days when I just want to lie down and wallow in this, let it overtake me. But then I think, where am I going to go? I am trapped in this body that isn’t cooperating with me, so I can let it break me, or I can fight back. I don’t have any other choice.
I’m too young to just throw in the towel. I have said it over and over again and most people think I am joking when I say that my body is literally trying to kill me, but this is not a joke to me. I truly know that my body is sabotaging my every move but I’m not going to let it win. I’m a fighter, not just physically but emotionally. I’ve been broken before by life events much harder than this one, but I never stayed broken. I healed up and I am stronger where the scars are binding me together than I was before.
That which does not kill me, had better start running.
Peace and Love and the Strength to Endure,